Mommy’s on a HIGH Again
Though the cycle of disengagement and suffocation
follow a mysterious pattern, the rise and fall of Mommy’s presence is
forcefully obvious. In the high moments she inserts herself into the life of
Little One with the neediness of a child at Toys R Us stomping her feet in the
aisle and screaming, “I want! I want! I want!” In the low moments, her abandonment
is radio silence.
Lately, Mommy has been an overbearing presence.
The schedule is for Little One to alternate weeks between Dad’s and Mom’s
house. Mom’s week usually equates to two or three nights spent at Mom’s. But, coming
out of a longish absence – 15 days or so of incommunicado and invisibility –
Mommy initiated two “sleepovers” at her house during Dad’s week and then took
an extra week to get back one of the weeks she missed, except Dad can take you
to soccer practices and your games and I won’t be able to come get you until
8pm tonight.
Mommy slipped and fell in the house while carrying
groceries in (which she hates to do),
landed on her ass to most certainly break her tailbone, and absolutely required
a new dose of pain meds, three days in bed, two weeks off work, and she will never be able to carry in groceries
again – far too nerve wracking! But now Mommy’s on a glassy-eyed low dose that
sounds as if it will keep her going for a good six weeks or more, ameliorating
the need to drink boxes of wine while hiding in the bathroom. This is the
functional zone. For her year, Mommy’s going to take Little One to Arizona for
Spring Break, except that she’s going to Mexico in May with her man, so she’s
going to send Little One to Grandma’s place in Arizona on her own! Except that
she can’t afford the plane ticket, so Little One’s other Grandma, that would be
her Dad’s mom, yep, yep, is going to cover the plane ticket. So Mommy is going
to get Little One a whole bunch of new clothes for Spring Break! Except they’re
so expensive that this will have to be her Easter basket because Mommy spent
$50 except she didn’t because Little One returned a $10 shirt she’d bought with
her own money. And Mommy says Little One will need shorts, a swimsuit and
sandals for Spring Break so Daddy you should get those. So Mommy made the BEST
SPRING BREAK EVER happen for Little One.
And Mommy is calling on Friday night right after
Little One gets back to Dad’s to see if she wants to stay the night with Mommy.
And Mommy is calling on Saturday night to see if Little One wants to go out to
dinner! And Mommy is stopping by Sunday night at 8:30pm to take Little One to
stay the night, please! Why not?! And Mommy is calling to take Little One
shopping for those Spring Break clothes on Monday night and bringing her back
home at 10pm. Mommy knows it’s a school night, her Little One’s so smart it
doesn’t matter! Mommy wanted to go and make a GREAT SPRING BREAK. And Mommy is
calling on a Tuesday to find out when Little One’s soccer game is this weekend.
Aware that Little One has a soccer game! Calling
to find out when it is. On a Tuesday!
This may be an unheralded high. Adding the data
points to the mental behavioral history chart, this one is off those charts.
Disturbingly so – what is the genesis? Is it that Daddy is doing well? Has had
some momentous successes of late – buying a house and a car! Is it the annual
tax return battle? Is it just that the drugs are really, really good this time?
Is it a butterfly flapping its wings in El Rosario?
Whatever it is, it’s this: Mommy loves Little One more. No, Mommy loves you MORE! No, Mommy LOVES you more!!!
Whatever it is, it’s this: Mommy loves Little One more. No, Mommy loves you MORE! No, Mommy LOVES you more!!!