9/10ths of the Law
One thing that makes me sad is that the kids don’t seem to be able to love both yet – to be connected to their dad and me and their mom at the same time. Saying “don’t seem to be able” makes it sound like a failure on their part. It’s not. It’s just the grief of the circumstance. They remain in the discomfort of dichotomy – a subtle feeling of having to take sides still clings to them. If they are connected to and present with their mom, then they are disconnected and actively avoiding us. I don’t sense them actively avoiding her as much but that may be simple mechanics. Their dad is always present. If they need him, he is there. It sounds biased, but it’s just true. They break down, they’re out of gas, they need something at school, they want to sign up for an activity – things like that they always call their dad and he always comes through. Their mom has a greater tendency to disappear, to get busy in her own world. They want to be with her when she is available to th